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Lost in the Patterns

by Post-Modern Panic

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1.
Mia 04:28
Love, I'm sorry for every time you brought me to my knees And I'm sorry for how I could not afford to scream And I love How you bled for me On your knees And I love How you died for me While I screamed I miss The grip, of your hands around my neck And I miss The burn of your blood In my chest And I love How your scars remain Carved into my skin And I love How you remind me Of how I've sinned Ooohhh No And I need you still And i was born inside of you And I will lie in wait for you You Mia, I feel you still And as the water runs into my eyes I find my failings rise And as you break into my flesh With each and every painful breathe you take the pain away from me So sing to me your tragedy
2.
I feel it beating Deep inside of me and i feel the sores seething As I plead Your kiss cuts into me If only you'd realize how deep I bleed oh how Ive failed you I feel it beating Deep inside of me and i feel the sores seething As I plead The dawn broke against your smile And I sensed chaos in you Oh how I've Failed you I feel it beating Deep inside of me and i feel the sores seething As I plead Please
3.
Emily 03:31
Her hair drapes down the back of her neck She burns into my eyes with the red of her cigarette Caught off guard with that devious stare I can tell by the flick of her tongue that she’s not going anywhere Emily You’re exactly where I oughtta be Who-oa Emily I’m fixated on your remedy Who-oa My fear drenched in whiskey my logic in rum The smell of her perfume makes my body numb She pulls me in with a drag of her cigarette I’m weighed down by the gravity of her silhouette Emily You’re exactly where I oughtta be Who-oa Emily I’m fixated on your remedy Who-oa Coy, cruel, calculated The arc of her waist gets me frustrated Gentle notes siftin’ through my mind Fuel my reckless intentions when the volume subsides Emily You’re exactly where I oughtta be Who-oa Emily I’m fixated on your remedy Who-oa Her hair drapes down the back of her neck She burns into my eyes with the red of her cigarette Caught off guard with that devious stare I can tell by the flick of her tongue that she’s not going anywhere
4.
Bubblegum 04:42
Those bubblegum melodies That I never really bought into They only serve to remind me Of the ---- you put me through I’m sorry that I have a mind of my own And I’m sorry that I gave you control That won’t happen anymore And I thought you should know Maybe I’m a little bit selfish But you are You’re narcissistic, you’re manipulative You’re a god damn hypocrite So I drink to me, I drink to you I drink to the lies I bought into I drink to the bull----, the white picket fence Memories I drink to the dreams that you sold for me That won’t happen anymore And the sad thing is That I still try to please you And it’s even more pathetic that I Think I might be like you So I drink to me, I drink to you I drink to the lies I bought into I drink to the bull----, the white picket fence Memories I drink to the dreams that you sold for me That won’t happen anymore So I drink to me, I drink to you I drink to the lies I bought into I drink to the bull----, the white picket fence Memories I drink to the dreams that you sold for me That won’t happen anymore
5.
His passions were Contrary To his dreams of the literary And his ritualized violence Hung beneath the stars in silence The voices were consuming Their absence was deafening And our broken reality Was born in fantasy The ground was stained red By the blood pooling in his hands And he said we'd begin again But our love met a violent end His kiss it consumed me Its absence was deafening And his broken fantasies Became our reality I find relief At the bottom Of my grief I wont die for you He bleeds For memories Forsaken By memories I wont cry for you Mother Father I sacrificed my only wish for him Please forgive me of my sin Please Save me His freshly seeping wounds That He let me sink my teeth into Tasted of midnight goodbyes And the black of his fractured sight The voices were consuming Their absence was deafening And his broken reality Was born inside fantasy I find relief At the bottom Of my grief I wont cry for you He bleeds Forsaken By memories I wont die for you Mother Father I sacrificed my only wish for him Please forgive me my sin Please Save me Mother Father I sacrificed my only wish for him Please forgive me of my sin Save me Save me Please save me
6.
In Time 04:32
Memories spread out along a line And I feel the fault lines in our time The darkness burns within light So I count the moments till I'm in your sight It was easier when we were blind To the faulty facades that mirrored our crimes But I'm tired of chasing that light Within my deserted mind You're far away Tell me what you think about our Changing ways Flashback I'm holding onto everything you said Those thoughts still infect my mind The clock face counts the moments And the cracks that you left behind But in the darkness I still see the light Of the path that you left me on And the promise that we'll all be there Because I'm tired of chasing that line Within my deserted mind You're far away Tell me what you think about our Changing ways Flashback I'm holding onto everything you said I need relief I hear you whispering Leading me to sleep And I can't dream until I know what's Awaiting me And I can't breathe until I see you here Beside me You're far away Tell me what you think about our Changing ways Flashback I'm holding onto everything you said You're far away Tell me what you think about our Changing ways Flashback I'm holding onto everything you said Everything you said Everything you said to me Flashback I'm holding onto everything you said You're far away Tell me what you think about our Changing ways Flashback I'm holding onto everything you said Everything you said to me Everything you said Flashback I'm holding onto everything
7.
The Trip 05:37
Eyes focus through a blurred strand of understanding, until logic verified it was only her hair. She’s a bit lost, and I suppose reality lost itself along the way, although she has now found herself happily residing in her head and the universe, and at this point fantasy and the infinite possibilities of the unknown have proven the only valuable method of coping. It may have appeared to be leading to a fusion of creativity and color but it would seem those bonds can be so easily torn, there is always a bit of lingering heat, and passing flames. It’s possible for her to define these feelings as mistakes; but she pretends she has learned to appreciate them as lessons. There once was a taste of the absolute, some transient passion that was fed into herself intravenously, and soon upon she discovered that withdrawal was a permanent state. On weekends she would blend her tainted blood with chemical comforts, and slip back into sweet fiction. She would write her own existence. there were limited possibilities there, and this empty reality was simply one battered perception. Decomposing and distant, a shattered piece of fiction sat reclining against the wall. She was delicate, exposed, wasted, eternally fading but never nonexistent. Stuck in this limbo out of reach of limbs and the tranquility of a rested conscience, she found her formulated existence. She felt an unknown force slowly bending her bones, manipulating her movements, and shaping her thoughts. In all this time she wished to control the outcome, and yet fate still remained the oppressive victor. Comforted only by hollowed hearts and dying dreams, she stayed hidden behind a wall whose stability and perfection she was nauseating in the company of. Beyond it she imagined there were clouds of amber. Pure and delicate creations, were bound in her aching mind, beyond even her comprehension. She breathed the passing air that only nature could compete with, but along with her vision, her senses were crushed within the black hole that was consuming what bit of reality remained. She held onto one image, one physical understanding of what had been, but along with her existence as she had known it to be, it slipped into some turbulent stream of collapsing matter and nothingness. What remained was only her twisted subconscious, but she stood witness to a cloudy formation within the vast expanse of emptiness. from its transcendent presence a torrent of color clouded her dark visions. As each strand of consciousness formed and bound to what seemed to be reality, a raw and unforgiving fence replaced the wall she dreamed beyond. Still that foreign presence stayed visible through calloused chains and defensive barbed wire. It ripped into her flesh, claiming bits of her spine and tissue. It pained her and taunted her. Teeth gnawed at her soft guilt ridden skin, and she was reminded of the f---ing brutal taste of humanity that replaced a lingering state of reverie. Trapped in some tortuous dream she held onto the mistakes and something sweet that called from what she now understood. She had lost to fate, and reality and the impossible swarmed her cluttered thoughts. There was no line, no definition; her tainted instinct had led her to waste in a surreal plain, some metaphysical nightmare. She prayed it was a lucid trance, but she only felt her thoughts stabbing into her brain stem. This is what she had created out of blackness, in the infinite void, in the limitless plain of possibilities.
8.
Drown me in your melody Lord Tonight you are with me Bless these city streets Feel you with my fingers Lord Against your broken figure Bless these city streets Take my dreams ‘Cause I’ve felt any truth but I know I’m in love again With you I have found my peace Lord Through liquor and concrete Bless these city streets You run through my veins Lord At your altar I have laid Bless these city streets Take me, break me Take me, break me Take me, break me I’m coming home I’m coming home I’m coming home I’m coming home

credits

released June 21, 2013

Lyrics by Rachel Adele Cabaniol

Music by Karl Messerschmidt and Rachel Cabaniol

Recorded by Greg Darigis

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Post-Modern Panic Hartford, Connecticut

Post-Modern Panic is a three piece rock band consisting of vocalist Rachel Adele, guitarist Karl Messerschmidt, and drummer Tim Bojanowski. Hailing from Hartford, CT, the group broke onto the Connecticut scene in 2012 and had a breakout year in 2013 with the release of its debut album, Lost in the Patterns. ... more

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